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Monday, August 24, 2009
"Do it For the Children" - Raising Our Children and Who Should We Turn To?
A few years back. I was talking to a teacher who was months away from retirement after a teaching career of over 30 years, when he blurted out the following:
"These kids are the worst class I have ever worked with ever! They are terrible excuses for human beings! I am going to get everyone of them put on Ridulin!" he said, waving his index finger for emphasis.
His comment nearly floored me, as I realized his perspective is becoming less and less uncommon in what I will refer to here as "child-development" professions. I thought I had heard everything in a teaching career than spanned parts of three decades, but these little 8 and 9 year old kids were some of my best music students that he was talking about.
I considered them to be gifted, although a little undisciplined. And therein lies the crux of the debate on the accepted practices for dealing with undisciplined Elementary aged children. It seems we did not agree at all on what was the correct thing to "do" to help these children.
"Do It For the Children."
No phrase of the 20th century has been used to effectively attain an agenda more than this one. Effective propagandists know the average person would never disagree and come out in opposition to such a noble cause. After all, who would be against what is in the best interest, health and safety of children?
Not a good person, mind you would take a contrary position when promoting agendas "for the children" are portrayed convincingly. Only the lowest and most selfish people are "against" what is good for children. What an extremely unpopular and foolish position to take. And so, the doors are swung wide open for pharmaceutical companies, schools and doctors to do what is best "for the children." A small side benefit is sometimes billions of dollars come with selling what is best "for the children."
This is certainly not to criticize all doctors, educators and medicines. Every day someone's life is saved by a great doctor or drug, and at some point we all realize we each owe a tremendous debt to the teacher(s) who taught us to be literate. How truly ungrateful it would be not to acknowledge the heroic people in these and other professions for the essential contributions they make to society.Yet, with each passing generation much knowledge is lost from the simple priorities of our grandparents and great grandparents. Most parents today want their children to be "happy" while the parents of past generations desired their children to be good and honorable people.
We can explain these generational differences using multi-definition words such as "values." We can apply the term "values" to various components these two most common of child raising philosophies and each is use of the term "values" is correct, since the definition of the word "value" involves a concept of arbitrary measurements. Like with money, the term "value" when applied to morals and ethics is subject to constant change.
When we watch the news we are bombarded with discouraging reports on the failures and corruption of our world leaders and how it has robbed the futures of our children, but the truth is, our children have an opportunity like no other children in the history of the world.Young children have a basic instinct right and wrong that is often superior to adults.. it is because their natural sense of fair play and justice has yet to be unlearned by the negative propagandist forces in our society. With the technology and resources available to them, they will be given an opportunity to not only save their own futures but to help overcome the mistakes of their parents.
On the other hand, you cannot truly help children without understanding ALL of the forces which are determined to keep the status quoin society and public education.
"It's not tradition we miss so much as the ring of truth. Because in the old language is the old truth..."Don Watson, Death Sentences, p. 33
Why do most children become rebellious? Is it simply because they wish to do something bad and hurt the feelings of their parents? Is it really in their nature to rebel for no reason at all? This is not to blame parents, as some children are difficult to understand no matter what efforts good parents go to in raising them. The perfect formula for raising children has never been devised as a fail-safe approach for raising all kids. This is the danger of modern child-raising theories. When expectations are low and the final result is that the child is going to turn out to be angry, bitter, hostile and resentful, then they seem to have developed certain strategies to cope with the situation. If the internet is any illustration of what life really is, based on what they are posting, most teenagers seem to fit this description.
But what about the children who don't HAVE to turn out this way if given proper guidance? Deeper research in to mind-set of the modern teenager reveals there are certainly exceptions to the negative stereotype, and there does seem to be a few teenagers doing postive things and making the lives of other people better.
If a rule were to be made for how teenagers are supposed to turn out in a consumer based society, what would it be? And are factors such as poverty a positive or a negative for the development of children? There are those that will assume that families that are down and out may become desperate and turn to illegal activities to make ends meet, so must the flip side of that coin be recognized, that sometimes poor and humble circumstances can produce human beings of tremendous character and integrity. The questions raised will answered further in future writings.
"These kids are the worst class I have ever worked with ever! They are terrible excuses for human beings! I am going to get everyone of them put on Ridulin!" he said, waving his index finger for emphasis.
His comment nearly floored me, as I realized his perspective is becoming less and less uncommon in what I will refer to here as "child-development" professions. I thought I had heard everything in a teaching career than spanned parts of three decades, but these little 8 and 9 year old kids were some of my best music students that he was talking about.
I considered them to be gifted, although a little undisciplined. And therein lies the crux of the debate on the accepted practices for dealing with undisciplined Elementary aged children. It seems we did not agree at all on what was the correct thing to "do" to help these children.
"Do It For the Children."
No phrase of the 20th century has been used to effectively attain an agenda more than this one. Effective propagandists know the average person would never disagree and come out in opposition to such a noble cause. After all, who would be against what is in the best interest, health and safety of children?
Not a good person, mind you would take a contrary position when promoting agendas "for the children" are portrayed convincingly. Only the lowest and most selfish people are "against" what is good for children. What an extremely unpopular and foolish position to take. And so, the doors are swung wide open for pharmaceutical companies, schools and doctors to do what is best "for the children." A small side benefit is sometimes billions of dollars come with selling what is best "for the children."
This is certainly not to criticize all doctors, educators and medicines. Every day someone's life is saved by a great doctor or drug, and at some point we all realize we each owe a tremendous debt to the teacher(s) who taught us to be literate. How truly ungrateful it would be not to acknowledge the heroic people in these and other professions for the essential contributions they make to society.Yet, with each passing generation much knowledge is lost from the simple priorities of our grandparents and great grandparents. Most parents today want their children to be "happy" while the parents of past generations desired their children to be good and honorable people.
We can explain these generational differences using multi-definition words such as "values." We can apply the term "values" to various components these two most common of child raising philosophies and each is use of the term "values" is correct, since the definition of the word "value" involves a concept of arbitrary measurements. Like with money, the term "value" when applied to morals and ethics is subject to constant change.
When we watch the news we are bombarded with discouraging reports on the failures and corruption of our world leaders and how it has robbed the futures of our children, but the truth is, our children have an opportunity like no other children in the history of the world.Young children have a basic instinct right and wrong that is often superior to adults.. it is because their natural sense of fair play and justice has yet to be unlearned by the negative propagandist forces in our society. With the technology and resources available to them, they will be given an opportunity to not only save their own futures but to help overcome the mistakes of their parents.
On the other hand, you cannot truly help children without understanding ALL of the forces which are determined to keep the status quoin society and public education.
"It's not tradition we miss so much as the ring of truth. Because in the old language is the old truth..."Don Watson, Death Sentences, p. 33
Why do most children become rebellious? Is it simply because they wish to do something bad and hurt the feelings of their parents? Is it really in their nature to rebel for no reason at all? This is not to blame parents, as some children are difficult to understand no matter what efforts good parents go to in raising them. The perfect formula for raising children has never been devised as a fail-safe approach for raising all kids. This is the danger of modern child-raising theories. When expectations are low and the final result is that the child is going to turn out to be angry, bitter, hostile and resentful, then they seem to have developed certain strategies to cope with the situation. If the internet is any illustration of what life really is, based on what they are posting, most teenagers seem to fit this description.
But what about the children who don't HAVE to turn out this way if given proper guidance? Deeper research in to mind-set of the modern teenager reveals there are certainly exceptions to the negative stereotype, and there does seem to be a few teenagers doing postive things and making the lives of other people better.
If a rule were to be made for how teenagers are supposed to turn out in a consumer based society, what would it be? And are factors such as poverty a positive or a negative for the development of children? There are those that will assume that families that are down and out may become desperate and turn to illegal activities to make ends meet, so must the flip side of that coin be recognized, that sometimes poor and humble circumstances can produce human beings of tremendous character and integrity. The questions raised will answered further in future writings.
The Era of Disposable Parents?
Whether it be government seeking to expand power and minimize those individuals with above average intelligence or creative drive, or big businesses and lending institutions exercising unjust principles to add unreasonable fees on "consumers," we are a culture where the rules of propaganda an corruption rule the day, hence, a bully based society.
Not only do children get negative messages from society in general, more specifically we are becoming a society that ostensibly errs on the side of children under the catch phrase "Do It For the Children." Parents not only have to live in fear of child designed propaganda from mediums designed for kids, they also have to worried about over zealous social workers finding any excuse to take their children away, whether or not they have done something that qualifies as abuse.
Parents may find their only choice is to educate their children about the potential pirfalls of foster care and the so-called child protective services agencies. As society becomes more accepting of the notion that the state is more qualified to raise children than their own parents, parental rights to their own children seem more and more to be disappearing. There are steps beyond the propagandist's agendas to pressure parents to "adapt" to modern society. On example where parents feel pressured is by tolerating their children watching trashy movies to innoculate for "the real world." Parents should instead be focusing on giving their children "real world" information that is actually useful.
One father I interviewed told me he noticed his son's teenage friends were increasingly calling the social service agency to get back at their parents for minor issues such as not allowing them to stay out late. He said he simply had "the talk" with his son, that "if you were to ever call them and have them take you away from me, you will be stuck with whatever happens from that point on, because I will NOT make an effort to fight to get you back." It is a sad commentary on our society that such a strategy is the parents best defense, but only by alerting children to the evil designs of government authority gone awry can we best give them the normal chance to grow to adulthood.
Because there are in fact real cases of tragic abuse to children by their parents, all of society is paying the price of being under the cloud of suspicion, in spite of various factors contributing to what is and is not considered to be good parenting.
Even certain law enforcement authorities operate on the premise that minor injuries to children may be the result of parental violence before considering the possibility it was a simple accident. On more than one occasion I have witnessed general groups of children in public schools being solicited to turn their parents in for alleged child abuse, even if it only involves the tone of voice or facial expression of parents.
School personnel in many public schools are now being threatened that they will be held legally liable for any suspicion of possible child abuse which they do not report to authorities. Rather than leading to a decrease in actual child abuse, this is causing a clouded perception upon the very perception of what child abuse is.
There are countless horror stories across the nation of children being torn from loving and stable non-abusive homes and placed in abusive foster care situations, based on an unproven allegation of abuse. It is for this reason that parents should not hold back in teaching their children about the full range of propagandist forces designed to break up families and the threats from state agencies to remove children from even non-abusive situations into possibly dangerous or abusive foster care situations.
Children have a keen sense of fairness and justice at a very young age. It is imperative that parents teach their children critical thinking skills on what is and is not child abuse, to not fall into the trap at the first sign of discord to falsely allege child abuse against their family. be able to discern the threats government agencies can pose to normal and stable families.
If your children are age 8 or younger they probably already think you and your teachers are perfect, so you may not think you need this, but it is to you whom I am exactly referring to. We need to head off teenage rebellion, eliminate the causes and solidify the unity between you and your child.
Not only do children get negative messages from society in general, more specifically we are becoming a society that ostensibly errs on the side of children under the catch phrase "Do It For the Children." Parents not only have to live in fear of child designed propaganda from mediums designed for kids, they also have to worried about over zealous social workers finding any excuse to take their children away, whether or not they have done something that qualifies as abuse.
Parents may find their only choice is to educate their children about the potential pirfalls of foster care and the so-called child protective services agencies. As society becomes more accepting of the notion that the state is more qualified to raise children than their own parents, parental rights to their own children seem more and more to be disappearing. There are steps beyond the propagandist's agendas to pressure parents to "adapt" to modern society. On example where parents feel pressured is by tolerating their children watching trashy movies to innoculate for "the real world." Parents should instead be focusing on giving their children "real world" information that is actually useful.
One father I interviewed told me he noticed his son's teenage friends were increasingly calling the social service agency to get back at their parents for minor issues such as not allowing them to stay out late. He said he simply had "the talk" with his son, that "if you were to ever call them and have them take you away from me, you will be stuck with whatever happens from that point on, because I will NOT make an effort to fight to get you back." It is a sad commentary on our society that such a strategy is the parents best defense, but only by alerting children to the evil designs of government authority gone awry can we best give them the normal chance to grow to adulthood.
Because there are in fact real cases of tragic abuse to children by their parents, all of society is paying the price of being under the cloud of suspicion, in spite of various factors contributing to what is and is not considered to be good parenting.
Even certain law enforcement authorities operate on the premise that minor injuries to children may be the result of parental violence before considering the possibility it was a simple accident. On more than one occasion I have witnessed general groups of children in public schools being solicited to turn their parents in for alleged child abuse, even if it only involves the tone of voice or facial expression of parents.
School personnel in many public schools are now being threatened that they will be held legally liable for any suspicion of possible child abuse which they do not report to authorities. Rather than leading to a decrease in actual child abuse, this is causing a clouded perception upon the very perception of what child abuse is.
There are countless horror stories across the nation of children being torn from loving and stable non-abusive homes and placed in abusive foster care situations, based on an unproven allegation of abuse. It is for this reason that parents should not hold back in teaching their children about the full range of propagandist forces designed to break up families and the threats from state agencies to remove children from even non-abusive situations into possibly dangerous or abusive foster care situations.
Children have a keen sense of fairness and justice at a very young age. It is imperative that parents teach their children critical thinking skills on what is and is not child abuse, to not fall into the trap at the first sign of discord to falsely allege child abuse against their family. be able to discern the threats government agencies can pose to normal and stable families.
If your children are age 8 or younger they probably already think you and your teachers are perfect, so you may not think you need this, but it is to you whom I am exactly referring to. We need to head off teenage rebellion, eliminate the causes and solidify the unity between you and your child.
Child Leader States: "The songs are stupid."
Why is it that children lose that wonderful enthusiasm for the opportunity to learn that seems to be a part of their nature?
One winter day in 2005, I agreed to help teach a group of first grade autistic children in a school near my home town. I asked the children to put away their activities and get ready to go to the gym.
They were going to sing the songs they had been practicing with their regular classroom teachers; it was the day of their annual Christmas program. There was one little boy was lagging a little behind his classmates so I urged him to catch up.
"We are singing stupid songs." he said, with a shrug and a friendly smile.
I was somewhat surprised at his answer, so I explained to him that Christmas songs are usually the best songs he would ever learn in school. Little did I know why he made the comment!
He shrugged as he made his way to the gym. As is typical with such programs, the youngest grades went first and the kindergarteners were most enthusiastic, with their songs about snowmen and Christmas trees.
The first grade teachers brought their students up and they sang from a "Silly Songs" collection, things like "All I want for Christmas is a Hippopotamus" and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
It was the same theme carried on by the Second grade. But unlike the first graders before them, they seemed a little less enthusiastic. However, they still gladly put forth the effort to shout out the words their teachers taught them.
The third grade seemed to be a little disinterested and the fourth grade seemed downright bored. But most of them somehow hacked out the words.
The fifth grade seemed not only bored but apathetic, but somehow plowed through "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and other similar selections.
At this point I was feeling a little heartburn at witnessing such a snapshot of why public school children often seem to learn to hate music.
Then a Christmas rap song was played on a boom box after the sixth grade took the stage and although chanting the words barely held their attention, most of the school seemed quite pleased with this grade's performance more than any other.
I wondered whatever happened to that zestful, joyous approach to learning that little children have when they first begin school! Why was it "necessary" that we "accept" the loss of children's excitement to learn! It occurred to me that even some of the educational priorities of the schools of our childhood were almost extinct!
The teachers and principal had ear to ear grins as they exchanged congratulations on how well they had done with their Christmas program. They had thoroughly demonstrated the step by step process by which schools can drum out the natural love of learning and beautiful music right out of the children!
The children in that school naturally put forth the expected effort to meet the expectations of the staff. But I was not a regular teacher in that school, so I bit my tongue.
I yearned for a chance to work with all of these children to show them that singing and music - learning in general - does not have to be this ugly depressing thing! There are so many things they would love about music and creating beautiful sounds while developing critical thinking skills!
And while I did not share my opinions with the kids about what I had witnessed, by the end of the day I did find a excuse to find and talk to the young boy that thought the songs were stupid.
I told him that in working with him over the course of the day, he had taught me a lot about what a smart young man he was.
One winter day in 2005, I agreed to help teach a group of first grade autistic children in a school near my home town. I asked the children to put away their activities and get ready to go to the gym.
They were going to sing the songs they had been practicing with their regular classroom teachers; it was the day of their annual Christmas program. There was one little boy was lagging a little behind his classmates so I urged him to catch up.
"We are singing stupid songs." he said, with a shrug and a friendly smile.
I was somewhat surprised at his answer, so I explained to him that Christmas songs are usually the best songs he would ever learn in school. Little did I know why he made the comment!
He shrugged as he made his way to the gym. As is typical with such programs, the youngest grades went first and the kindergarteners were most enthusiastic, with their songs about snowmen and Christmas trees.
The first grade teachers brought their students up and they sang from a "Silly Songs" collection, things like "All I want for Christmas is a Hippopotamus" and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
It was the same theme carried on by the Second grade. But unlike the first graders before them, they seemed a little less enthusiastic. However, they still gladly put forth the effort to shout out the words their teachers taught them.
The third grade seemed to be a little disinterested and the fourth grade seemed downright bored. But most of them somehow hacked out the words.
The fifth grade seemed not only bored but apathetic, but somehow plowed through "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and other similar selections.
At this point I was feeling a little heartburn at witnessing such a snapshot of why public school children often seem to learn to hate music.
Then a Christmas rap song was played on a boom box after the sixth grade took the stage and although chanting the words barely held their attention, most of the school seemed quite pleased with this grade's performance more than any other.
I wondered whatever happened to that zestful, joyous approach to learning that little children have when they first begin school! Why was it "necessary" that we "accept" the loss of children's excitement to learn! It occurred to me that even some of the educational priorities of the schools of our childhood were almost extinct!
The teachers and principal had ear to ear grins as they exchanged congratulations on how well they had done with their Christmas program. They had thoroughly demonstrated the step by step process by which schools can drum out the natural love of learning and beautiful music right out of the children!
The children in that school naturally put forth the expected effort to meet the expectations of the staff. But I was not a regular teacher in that school, so I bit my tongue.
I yearned for a chance to work with all of these children to show them that singing and music - learning in general - does not have to be this ugly depressing thing! There are so many things they would love about music and creating beautiful sounds while developing critical thinking skills!
And while I did not share my opinions with the kids about what I had witnessed, by the end of the day I did find a excuse to find and talk to the young boy that thought the songs were stupid.
I told him that in working with him over the course of the day, he had taught me a lot about what a smart young man he was.
Troubled Teenagers: The World's Most Wasted Resource
When situations are severe and you need help stopping dishonesty and disrespect, most teen help programs address the symptoms rather than identifying and addressing the real root cause. I have a more specialized program to help you restore the proper discipline in the parent/child relationship. Parents need to look for the signs and be concerned that your teen's behavior does not have the potential to cross into destructive and even criminal behavior.
How did it get to this point and what do you do next?
For those seeking help with troubled teenagers and if you are considering intervention or wilderness therapy before it is too late, this is a program that may save you the resources, energy and even drugs that expensive therapies may require of you.
The realities of being a teenager:
- You are still a child yet your recent growth and newfound physical strength and energy is telling you that you are not still a child, and are capable of thinking and accomplishing much more than what is currently being expected of you.
- You want to be given a chance to prove yourself and contribute, but the ultimate purpose of most every action adults tell you is to sit down and shut up; if only you did not realize what a child you still are, you would realize you need to prepare yourself to hold an anonymous job in a consumer based worker society. You look at what your parents' and grandparents generation has done to this country and you realize your generation is being groomed not to make society better, but to pick up where your previous generation left off and make it worse, and you are expected to be okay with this.
You prefer not to be groomed to be a successful worker/consumer, you would prefer to be given the knowledge to be succesful at LIFE. Teenagers begin to contemplate their future, including who to marry and start a family, but girls in particular need the protection of their parents, as the type of young men who have been raised correctly and whom they should be dating are often too gentlemenly to be outgoing enough to approach them; many males they initially form friendships with may be seeking their company for the wrong reasons and certainly do not have their best interests at heart.
Young men who have the skills to support themselves and begin a family at a young age have become an extinct concept in today's society, not as much because they are still children but because it goes against the grain of the modern definitions of what teenage boys should be in a propaganda controlled society. Teenage rebellion means huge money to those who market to your children, and they are not about to willingly give up their share of your child's disposable income.
Teenagers rebelling against their parents and rejecting their teachings rewards the marketing interests of those who market music, clothes and other fashionable trends. You can almost refer to teenage rebellion as the Teenage Rebellion industry, one that is very lucrative; the damaging effects of your family's misfortune is their meal ticket, it represents the happy change they have jingling in their pockets.
For more specialized information for helping troubled teenagers and specialized services, write to info@trueselfesteem.com.
How did it get to this point and what do you do next?
For those seeking help with troubled teenagers and if you are considering intervention or wilderness therapy before it is too late, this is a program that may save you the resources, energy and even drugs that expensive therapies may require of you.
The realities of being a teenager:
- You are still a child yet your recent growth and newfound physical strength and energy is telling you that you are not still a child, and are capable of thinking and accomplishing much more than what is currently being expected of you.
- You want to be given a chance to prove yourself and contribute, but the ultimate purpose of most every action adults tell you is to sit down and shut up; if only you did not realize what a child you still are, you would realize you need to prepare yourself to hold an anonymous job in a consumer based worker society. You look at what your parents' and grandparents generation has done to this country and you realize your generation is being groomed not to make society better, but to pick up where your previous generation left off and make it worse, and you are expected to be okay with this.
You prefer not to be groomed to be a successful worker/consumer, you would prefer to be given the knowledge to be succesful at LIFE. Teenagers begin to contemplate their future, including who to marry and start a family, but girls in particular need the protection of their parents, as the type of young men who have been raised correctly and whom they should be dating are often too gentlemenly to be outgoing enough to approach them; many males they initially form friendships with may be seeking their company for the wrong reasons and certainly do not have their best interests at heart.
Young men who have the skills to support themselves and begin a family at a young age have become an extinct concept in today's society, not as much because they are still children but because it goes against the grain of the modern definitions of what teenage boys should be in a propaganda controlled society. Teenage rebellion means huge money to those who market to your children, and they are not about to willingly give up their share of your child's disposable income.
Teenagers rebelling against their parents and rejecting their teachings rewards the marketing interests of those who market music, clothes and other fashionable trends. You can almost refer to teenage rebellion as the Teenage Rebellion industry, one that is very lucrative; the damaging effects of your family's misfortune is their meal ticket, it represents the happy change they have jingling in their pockets.
For more specialized information for helping troubled teenagers and specialized services, write to info@trueselfesteem.com.
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